Saturday, May 30, 2009

Nike Accuses Adidas Headquarters Of Remotely Detonating Messi's Shoe To Fall Off Immediately After Champions League Goal:

Adidas Senior Vice-President of Public Relations, Jurgen Sparksmann, today denied competitor's allegations that the company had the technology to remotely detonate the new Spark football shoe from its Herzogenaurach, Germany Global Headquarters:

"This is absurd. Our competitors are simply envious of our marketing serendipity. To say that we would in any way tamper with a UEFA controlled marketing...I mean sporting event, is scandalous. Now, on the other hand, we are happy to report that Lionel Messi, who currently leads all players in voting at, believes himself - himself! - that he couldn't have scored that headed goal without that extra spark. I mean look at the little Argie, he's barely 5 feet tall. Don't get me wrong, he's a great player, in fact the best player in the world but he is very, very, very short. We designed those shoes not only to make him faster and more nimble but also to increase his vertical jump. There is secret technology built "into" the shoe. But we categorically deny that we remotely detonated a shoe used in a match in Italy, from our German headquarters. Thank you for your time. Good day..."

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